Welcoming 2015

by - January 03, 2015

Highlights of 2014

2014 has been an adventurous and a year filled with milestones for me. From finishing my foundation program, to starting my Degree bachelor program. From traveling to other countries for holidays and moving far away from home for studies. From meeting new friends, to now having a bunch of priceless good friends whom I call my family away from family. With so much things happening in the past one year, no doubt the year went by in a blink of an eye.

I feel it in me, that I grew and learnt a lot from the past one year. The first four months was tough because it was the final semester of my foundation year and the papers was tough but I manage to get through it all despite not being able to meet the aim that I've set for myself, but I am still glad that I got through it. I knew it well too that the four months are the last four months that I will be studying together with friends that I have made in UTAR because I was one of them who were leaving for another university for the Degree program. I am glad that we still have each other in our thoughts every once in a while to know that we are not forgotten between all of us.

The next four months, I spent most of my time at home and did nothing much productive to be honest. I was on a long break because of the change of university. At the same time, I got really close to the extend of being dependent and relying on him to make my day a more productive one. I did not have much friends to hangout with because their semesters were resuming as usual. Before my Degree in Taylor's started, we manage to had a week of getaway to Australia, as well as a part of my 19th birthday gift from my parents. I really cherished that four months because we were both in Ipoh and it was not a LDR for the both of us. Perhaps it was because it's something I know we won't have every time for the time being due to work and studies which I know is temporary, that I became really clingy to the extend that it was too much.

The last four months was the most challenging four months that I have been through to date. From being so close to him, it was suddenly 2 hours apart again and then it was to 4 hours apart by plane. From going to university knowing I'll be seeing familiar faces, to being totally alone and everyone else a stranger. From a small city that I have grew up in, to a big city that it took me some time to get used to my surroundings. To getting to come home every single weekend or whenever I feel like it, to only get to go home during the weekends or when I am free or when train tickets are available. It was the toughest four months that I have put myself out there to the brink of giving up and at that same time, it was when things started to turn around positively.

It had taught me to be really independent. No one was looking out for me and that I have to face everything by myself. I had to learn new things all over again without the help of anyone (which was before I met this group of friends). I've learnt to be more flexible when it comes to transportations. I didn't have a car the previous semester and all I relied on was public transportations most of the time. I've learnt how to look out for myself when it comes to crowded areas where crime could just take place anywhere. I've learnt and still learning and trying to balance out my life. I realize that I cannot reply and depend on my daily activities and entire life on one person.

He may mean the world to me and everything, but I should not depend and rely my entire life on him because it is not his burden and responsibility. He will always have a special place in my heart, be the most important person in my life and my source of happiness, but then I should always leave some space and time for my friends and family as well because they too play some roles in making my life the way it is. The week when my sister and him left to another country for studies and work, it was the most critical time for me to be able to stand back up alone and it was from that, that I realize all this and he taught me that.

I've learnt that temporary distance isn't always a bad thing. It gave me a chance to grow up, to think life through, to be independent and in a way, it made my heart grew fonder for him. I was away from everybody and that was when I've learnt so much. Some said I got matured, some said that I've improved. I know some of it, and I don't realize some of it until some people tells me about it. But at the same time, I am always worried that I may have changed for the worst but so far, I still feel like myself.

There were times when I felt like killing myself and not wanting to live anymore, and there were times that I felt like I was over the rainbow. Through it all, it helped me to strengthen myself. I have learnt to overlook trivial matters and not cry about temporary bad moments because it will not last. Most importantly, I am glad that I've learnt so much and I know it does not just stops there.

The beginning of 2015 has not been totally good for me I would say but I will try to be as optimistic as possible, and have faith that things will get better as the days go by.

To my parents, I hope the house wouldn't be too lonely without the presence of your two daughters at home who left home around the same time. I hope that work will always be okay for you two and that life will always treat you two good.

To my sister, I hope you're overcoming every challenges and obstacle in UK like how I am here back in Malaysia. I hope to see you next May if I manage to get into the Bristol program. Take care and hope you're enjoying an entirely different life there.

To my beloved boyfriend, I wish you all the best in your new career and in life. I hope that work will always treat you good and that you will not stress out too much. Near or far, know that we'll always be in each other's hearts and thoughts.

To all my friends, no matter where you guys and girls are right now, I hope that we have not forgotten each other. I hope to keep in touch with each and everyone of you and I can't wait to see all of our graduation photos from all different universities in 3-4 years time.

To everyone, I wish every single one of you good luck and all the best in life with whatever that you do. Take care, God bless and Happy New Year!

5 more months to being officially 20. Jeez, I feel old.

Welcoming 2015

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