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It's been a while since I tossed and turn for hours before falling asleep. I thought I would sleep in this morning but instead, I woke up earlier than usual. Thanks to insomnia, I came across an information that I didn't know what to do about (I dug my own grave on this one). Times like this, I really wish I could have had enough self control because it's true - ignorance IS bliss.

There are a million things in this world that is beyond our control. None of it really matters unless you're involved or affected by it. This piece of information has taken away my productivity and focus the entire day, and it has caused me so much anxiety. I wish there was something I could do about it, but unfortunately, this is one of the situations where it's completely out of my control.

When I'm in a position like this, insecurities creep back into my life. I'm not someone who has high self-confidence to begin with. Being able to take control of things help me stay grounded, but when I can't, my emotions and mental state gets the better of me.

Being insecure is pure torture. It's draining for yourself and whoever that's on the receiving end especially if it keeps happening again and again. All this while, I blame it on others for the way I feel because it's like the consequence of someone else's action. Also it didn't help that I've came across so many articles that always implies that the root of insecurities that we feel is caused by someone else.

While that's true to a certain extend, but what happens if that 'someone' is a person from the past? Or like in my case, I'm feeling insecure because I brought that to myself.

There's a saying that goes "don't let your past ruin something beautiful", and I agree. But for that to happen, one must be able to trust that the present is nothing like the past. And that's where I'm stuck. I lack faith, and all I could think of are how things are not going to be okay.

I began to reflect and wonder, what if the root of our own insecurities come from our own unresolved matters. Instead of fixing ourselves, we unintentionally punish the ones who care the most, and they end up paying the price for something someone else did. One thing that I've learnt from therapy is to find the root to why we feel or think the way we do - even if it's something traumatic or hurtful.

Growing up, I've been betrayed and belittled countless of times. I felt like whatever little confidence that was left in me was stripped away. It was such a tough journey getting back up, and I'm still trying everyday. I know the cause of my insecurities and it has nothing to do with people in my present life. While being mindful about that, I try my best not to hurt others with a 'problem' that I have, but I end up suffering alone, in my thoughts.

Today has made me realised that nobody can help me overcome this but myself. I needed a direction, something to tell me that my hunch was right - that it's possible to be insecure because of ourselves. And I found this article. It felt like it was written based on my life.

For once, I'm so done with myself. I'm tired of being and feeling this way, and it's time to drop my past baggage completely. I know I won't bounce back right away, but things have got to start changing, and it starts with me.

And I need to learn to trust, and have faith. Even if things really doesn't work out, I need to have faith that it's alright.

Sincerely, Mels
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If I were to describe 2020 in 1 word, that would be ‘tangled’.


I would have posted this piece up sooner if I hadn’t written a second version of it. When I first wrote the first draft, it felt personal and got super emotional before I finished it. It was a piece filled with heartfelt thoughts and emotions that I’ve been bottling up, and penning it down had helped me enough to put things in a different perspective. I’ll always have that raw piece to look back, but here’s one to keep this blog alive.

I’m pretty sure everyone’s ‘highlight’ of 2020 would be our first encounter of a ‘lockdown’ due to the pandemic. But for me, 2020 was a year I felt stuck with life (still am). There were many things that I wanted to achieve, but all I got was disappointment again and again. I was impressed with how much I persevered through it all when my younger self would have just run away from everything.



Perhentian Islands - Aug 2020
 
Despite all the bad that happened, there were plenty of silver linings. My trip to Shanghai and Sydney became a year I explored more of Malaysia. I finally revisited Langkawi after 21 years and had my first road trip to the east coast - Perhentian Islands in Terengganu. I found my courage to finally snorkelled, spotted a turtle, and stayed on a crystal-clear-water island for an entire week. I had to put up with my frizzy hair (because there was no hairdryer) and had everything fit into only one backpack. I thought I wouldn’t have liked it, but surprise surprise!



Penang - June 2020

I’ve heard of situations where relationships were strained when MCO happened - including one of my closest friends’. But I’m grateful that it turned out otherwise for me - I found love again in the midst of a pandemic #covidlovebirds It was something unexpected, but I’m glad it happened. I’m happy to have found someone who loves travelling as much as I do (probably even more), cooks better than I do and as nonsensical as I am.



2020 was also a year that I was overwhelmed with work. Whenever someone checks up on me, I would always answer that I was busy with work. It was a challenging period juggling so many things at once, but I’m glad that I grew through it - both professionally and personally. Full time work aside, I'm glad to have been able to model for a friend's business and have my very first ballet photoshoot.



I also found some time to read, uploaded a few piano covers on YouTube and updated this dead blog with a random piece that I thought of during quarantine and also a cafe review (sort of). Although it wasn’t much, at least there’s progress rather than none at all.



Before the year ended, I'm glad to be able to reunite with the fam. Although Christmas was a tad different last year, but it was still as meaningful as ever.

I’m pretty sure I’ve also learnt to see the good in every bad situation because it’s evident in this piece. And I guess that’s one of the things that kept me going in 2020, but now that I look back, it felt like I was self-pacifying. While it’s okay to do that, to comfort ourselves and be grateful for all that we are and have, there are things that will need to change this year.


With that, I found my word for 2021 - Courage.


I’m someone who fears change because of the uncertainty that comes with it. I would overthink and put too much focus on the bad rather than the good. Without change, my 2021 reflection piece would probably be how stuck I am with life all over again.

So, here’s to embracing change, and be courageous through everything.

Sincerely, Mels

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Hey guys. Guess who's back! It has definitely been a while since I wrote and there's no better time to come back. If you've yet to know (unless you're a Malaysian and you don't know this, I don't know what to say), Malaysia is currently under a Movement Control Order due to the Covid-19 outbreak. It was initially just for 14 days, and it recently got extended for another 2 weeks. Which means, we are all just gonna be stuck at home and most of us are already going a bit nuts with the boredom that we've been facing daily.

As for me, my company has been working from home since almost 2 weeks ago. It's not THAT common for us here to get to work from home on a regular basis, so we were all definitely excited initially about this new arrangement. For all of us who have been wishing to work from home finally got a full taste of how it would be like! And for once in 2.5 years I'm actually utilising the desk in my room for proper work and not storage purposes 😅

While I was taking a break from work one day, it just came into my mind that it would be fun to write about this! So, here's a POV from a girl who finally got to experience what it's like working from home and the best things about it!


Sniff your 'bantal busuk' the WHOLE DAY





Who here looks forward going home to smell your smelly pillow after a long day at work? 🙋🏻‍♀️ Not going to deny that I'm one of them! #shameless 🙈 One thing I've been enjoying the most is getting to sniff it anytime I want all day, everyday - especially while working. Oh Lord! I can't explain the privilege to be able to sniff it while working. People need coffee to hurdle on but me? I just need one (or more than one) whiff of it 🤤 And I'm pretty certain I'm not the only one enjoying this, but I may be enjoying it a little too much 🌚


Take that post-lunch power nap


Don't we all struggle everyday trying to stay awake post-lunch when we're in office? - especially after a great dose of Nasi Lemak! 😴 Now that we're all working from home, there's no need to fight it anymore. Temporarily at least. Do remember to set your alarm to wake up in 20 minutes or else you'll be playing a game called nap roulette 🌚 But I guess as long as you get your job done and deliver it on time eh? 


Poop in peace


Don't we all feel a little insecure about doing a number 2 when we're outside? 👀 - especially when you're at work! 🙃 Well, I'm pretty sure we have all been anxious-free about it the past 2 weeks. I can't explain the joy of being able to go any time and not needing to worry about having spicy food for lunch! 🤤


Pyjamas party all day


I can't remember the last time I ran out of home-clothes to wear 😱 and it's such a rare sight to see my working clothes section untouched in my wardrobe!  Okay, I work in a place that doesn't actually require a corporate attire but I still have some clothes picked out just for work. And for those of you who works in corporate, it must have been super life changing! So, do you guys actually prefer to be working in your work clothes or home clothes? 🤨


See your colleague's true self


If only I'm a quarter as cute 🙃

There's no better opportunity to see your colleagues' 'true self' during your morning team conference call. This is probably your only chance to see them before their morning rituals of waxing hair and slapping on makeup (no eyebrows!) 😱 And unfortunately, I'm one of them 🙃 My face is super puffy in the morning and my RBF in the morning is somehow 10x enhanced. It's pretty easy to spot a just-woke-up Mel 🌚



Home cooked lunch


"Today eat what?" "What do you wanna eat?" "Where do you wanna eat?" Aren't these questions all too familiar? 🙄 It's been 2 weeks since I broke my streak of eating mixed rice for lunch that's just across my office (and also because it's cheap)! Feels good to have a change of lunch-routine with some home cooked lunch except that after the 3rd day of MCO, I started getting so lazy to cook anything! 😅 Kinda miss having mixed rice tho!


Save petrol money


I honestly don't remember the last time I went to get gas! Heck, I did not even start my car for 10 days straight until I needed to head out to get groceries. 😱 It's been kinda nice to see my money stay in my bank account - and it's not just for gas but for anything at all because there's just nothing to pay for except for groceries (or online shopping which I'm so proud that I didn't cave!. Yet.) 🌚



So, there you have it guys! A super random piece to revive my blog 🤣 Hope you guys had fun reading (or maybe I may have just exposed my lameness to the world) 🌚. Kbye.


Sincerely, Mels


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If you love places like Birch or Botanica + Co, you'll definitely love Jibby by the Park. A minimal industrial ambience with a touch of greenery, and amazing food choices, I can't think of a better place for a nice Sunday brunch and perhaps even some #ootd shots!

Location: Waze your way to The Waterfront, Desa Park City and then look for the newly renovated Aeon. Take the escalator next to it up and Jibby by the Park will on your left. Alternatively, if you locate Whimsical, the restaurant's just right next to it.




#ootd spot 1

The place can get pretty crowded later in the day. If you're planning to take some nice #ootd shots, try to go earlier!

Dress from LoveKnotLabel



#ootd spot 2

I really love the open concept from the top floor. Lean against the stairway and have your photographer take a shot of you from a higher angle to get the background in too. Also you don't have to worry about those double chins yo!


Breakfast Menu - Jibby Big Breakfast (RM35), Champion Brekkie (RM38), Avo It (RM32) & Brekkie In A Bun (RM25)

Food's amazing, and the portion is actually enough to be shared by 2 if you're not a big eater. I personally love the Champion Brekkie because STEAK! 🤤 If you're paying them a visit before 12pm, do take note that they only serve from their Breakfast menu. They offer a variety of food choices and I'll definitely be back to try the others! You can view their menu here.


Address: FF-18 & FF-19, First Floor, The Waterfront@ParkCity, No 5, Persiaran Residen, Desa ParkCity, 52200 Kuala Lumpur

Contact: +60 3-6263 1303



Hey you. If you're reading this post during the #MCO movement, do remember that the restaurant will still be there afters. #stayhome for now and only visit when the situation has improved. 
Sending hugs!

Sincerely, Mels
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If you don't already know, I have been quite a stationery junkie since schooling days. Nothing beats the satisfaction of entering a stationery store or department, seeing all the well organized things on the shelf and aisle. My addiction for stationery (notebooks and journal in particular) spiral out of control these past few months. Why? Well, all thanks to calligraphy, I ended up subscribing to a few YouTube channels on bullet journaling and of course calligraphy. So, I didn't just picked up calligraphy but also an interest in journaling which actually has helped me to stay organized and to practice attempting things one at a time (breatheeeeee).

It's now December (oh how time flies) and of course I am on a hunt for the perfect journal to kick start the new year! Lucky for me, Christmas came early this year because ana tomy is in town! When I first heard of their brand and the fact that they customize journal, I went nuts and pretty much made my way to the city the very next day!

They'll be having a booth in Kinokuniya, KLCC till 20th December 2018!


The booth was pretty interesting and everyone was very well guided through the steps. Just imagine a buffet - you stand in a line and go along as the line moves taking your dishes - but instead of food, it's picking up the materials to create the journal of your dreams! That's like a plate filled with your favourite food, but in book form. 

CREATING YOUR VERY OWN JOURNAL

STEP 1 : Choose Your Cover


Ana-tomy offers two types of covers - Paperbound (RM128) and Clothbound (RM148), and the prices are inclusive of everything! You'll be spoilt for choice with the selection of colors they have to offer for both types of covers. From quirky to corporate colours, they have it all!

STEP 2 : Choose Your Inserts


Here, you'll be dealing with a shelf filled with all sorts of inserts / page formats and you'll get to pick 6-7 packets of inserts of your choice. You'll be given a measuring tool when you register. So as long as the number of packets you've chosen can all fit the measurement given, you're good to go. Grid lines, single lines, blank pages or even dotted lines for bullet journal geeks, they have it! There are also other types of inserts available such as calendars and habit trackers. 

For me, I even requested to open up my selected packets and rearrange all of it according to the sequence that I want! I had it in my head that I would like it to be a monthly thing where each months is consisted of 2 different types of inserts........ - those kind of stuff - and I maxed out the nerd side in me. 


STEP 3 : Choose Your Accessories

Colour of your choice on...


...bookmark ribbon...


...pen holder which also functions as the tool to lock in the whole book...


...binding ring...


...book band as well as the colour for your name stamping.

ROSE GOLD ALL THE WAY!


The pen holder is actually a part of a bigger piece at the back of the book which is also attached to the stack of bounded papers. This gives you the option to refill your papers (simply by removing the entire pen holder piece) while re-using your journal cover. You may buy the refills online / pop by their store in Selangor.


Each book comes with a complimentary inner front cover, owner's identity card, world map, table of contents page and labeling stickers.


THE PACKAGING

The packaging for the journal consist of only a big piece of recyclable-foldable cardboard. It gives a very minimalist & hipster vibe and saves you the time in wrapping or buying a gift bag / box for it. 







Watch my unboxing video:



Not sure what to buy for your loved ones this Christmas? Well, you may have found your answer!
Or you know, a gift to yourself to kick off the new year!


ana tomy

11 Jalan SS 26/8
Taman Mayang Jaya
Selangor 47301 Malaysia

Facebook: @antomyofficial
Instagram: @anatomy_official
Email: hello@ana-tomy.co


Sincerely, Mels
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WHY CALLIGRAPHY AND HOW I STARTED

I have always been fond of writing - using a pen and paper. I am rather particular with neat writing, and I have always received compliments on my writing from my family and friends! I guess learning calligraphy has also got to do with my personal interest besides filling my spare time that I have now!

I have seen many images and videos of hand lettering all over social media and damn aren't they just mesmerizing and satisfying to watch! I never really gave it much thought until recently. I started YouTube-ing many calligraphy videos to understand the concept better, how it's done, materials needed, and most importantly if it's possible to self learn (I will share a few helpful videos later on in the post). 

I felt really overwhelmed on my very first calligraphy practice mainly due to expectations vs reality. Obviously nothing I wrote looked anything like what I see online. In fact, that lasted for a couple of weeks before it started looking more presentable. 

Before purchasing any calligraphy tools, I actually tried out faux calligraphy using a normal ball point pen as a little trial. Do bear in mind though that faux calligraphy and actual calligraphy feels very different although the end results are pretty similar. I bought my very first brush pen from Popular Bookstore, and it's been close to 6 months now since I started this new found hobby (and still learning).

I believe that the core attitude one must have for learning calligraphy is to have patience and always remember that one does not master the skill overnight. It takes many practices to get the hang of things. (And I guess this rule pretty much applies for anything we do in life in general!) 

Honestly, up till today, I still believe that there is still room for improvements but I am so excited to share this write up with you guys to help give that little beginner's push and at least have an idea on where you guys can begin! I hope by the end of this post, all you calligraphy enthusiast will finally be able to take the first step in learning this skill!



 SELF LEARNING / CLASSES / WORKSHOPS. 


Photo credits to Stickerrific, The Craft Crowd & Washilicious

I believe that it is possible to self learn calligraphy as I personally have yet to attend any classes or workshops. When I first started off calligraphy, I was very keen on at least going for a workshop to learn the proper techniques and have someone to guide me. However, my schedule was tight and I ended up self learn through watching tons of YouTube videos. 

I guess there is no right or wrong in calligraphy as everyone has a right to their own creativity but of course there are some basics rules to follow. If you have the time, I would encourage you to attend a workshop to ensure that your techniques are correct with proper in-person guidance. But then again, it's definitely up to you at the end of the day if it's needed. 

If you're interested to attend workshops not just limited to calligraphy, you may check out the following websites / stores as they conduct many different types of workshops monthly:

Stickerrific: https://www.stickerrific-store.com/store/Classes-%26-Workshops-c13656433

Washilicious: http://washilicious.com/product/brush-lettering-class-kuala-lumpur/

The Craft Crowd: https://thecraftcrowd.com




HELPFUL AND IMPORTANT VIDEOS TO WATCH

Here's a list of videos that I self learned from and helped me to understand calligraphy better.

1. Calligraphy & Handlettering for Beginners by AmandaRachLee


Key Points:
  1. Basic strokes practices
  2. 'X-height', ascending & descending letters
  3. Lettering styles
  4. Baselining your letters
  5. Brush pens comparison
  6. Faux Calligraphy 

2. Basic Calligraphy Strokes (Explanation) by The Happy Ever Crafter


Key Points:
  1. Difference of cursive and calligraphy
  2. Calligraphy Paper
  3. Understanding calligraphy strokes
  4. How letters are form by different calligraphy strokes
3. Basic Calligraphy Strokes (Demonstration) by The Happy Ever Crafter


Key Points:
  1. Demonstration of the different types of calligraphy strokes to practice
4. Lettering Mistakes by How To Hand Letter


Key Points:
  1. Do not letter too fast / too slow; set a comfortable pace
  2. Lifting up the pen after every letter / stroke
  3. How to care for your brush pen / using the correct materials
  4. Practice makes perfect
  5. Do not compare your work with others
After you've got the hang of the basics, you may watch the video below to spice up your calligraphy / handletterings with blending techniques and letter styling!

5. Calligraphy & Handlettering (After The Basics) by AmandaRachLee


PS: I found AmandaRachLee's channel few months ago and fell in love with it instantaneously. Her videos are so relaxing and somewhat satisfying to watch, and her love for art and bullet journalling has inspired me to start mine!



TOOLS AND MATERIALS
and where to buy them


There are a few online and offline stores you can get calligraphy tools / materials from such as Washilicious, CZipLee, Stickerrific or even normal bookstores such as Popular but they do not carry as much variety as the ones mentioned prior. My all time favorite store to go to is Stickerrific and I'll show you why:





How to not fall in love with their store!

PS: this post is NOT sponsored by Stickerrific although I may mention them over and over again, and it's simply because I really love their store and it's so convenient to shop with them as they're available both online and offline. If you're wondering, their shop is located in Jaya One.

I have bought brush pens from both Stickerrific as well as Popular Bookstores as well and this is why I would recommend to get yours from stores like Stickerrific - their care for brush pens. My very first brush pens were bought from Popular and I had no clue about fraying of brush pens then. However I do notice then that the pen does not produce neat lines as I thought they would. Turns out the brush pens were mostly frayed because the pens were on display and all of it can be tested out by anyone at all. And probably those without the knowledge of brush pens have damaged it. 

As for Stickerrific, everything on display are not allowed for testing. If you wish to test a pen or brush pen, you're required to ask for assistance from the counter as they have testers available. That way, customers are promised a brand new non frayed brush pens and Stickerrific is the only place I have bought all my brush pens and other materials from. 

Here are a few of my personal favorite brush pens:

1. Tombow Fudenosuke Brush Pens


These brush pens are the bomb! Tombow recently just launched the Fudenosuke model brush pens in colors and I have never been happier! These colored pens are only available in hard-tips, except for the black, they're available in both hard and soft tip. Stickerrific sells them both in a set and individually. 

Link: https://www.stickerrificstore.com/products/tombow-fudenosuke-color-brush-pen-set-of-10

The difference between the hard and soft tip is the bounciness of the brush pens. The hard tip gives better control as compared to the soft tip, but it all comes down to personal preference. I personally like both of it as it gives me a different style of lettering. I'm able to create very thin upstrokes easily with the hard tip which gives me an elegant style of lettering while the soft tip gives me a more whimsical style of lettering. However, if you're a beginner, I believe that you should start with the soft tip to really learn the control of your brush pens. 


2. Pentel Brush Pens


Pentel Brush Pens ranks pretty closely with the Tombow Fudenosuke as they're easy to control too. These brush pens come in soft tips and they're perfect to hand letter some header in a A5 notebook as the brush aren't too big / thick that would make small letterings look fat. 

Link: https://www.stickerrificstore.com/products/pentel-fude-touch-brush-sign-pen-set-of-12

3. Tombow Dual Brush Pens


I started calligraphy with the Tombow Dual Brush Pens as it was highly recommended by reviewers online. It has a brush tip on one side, and a marker-like tip on the other. It is a convenient brush pen to carry around if you're someone who likes to letter not only calligraphy and you can have both the options in just one pen. However, they are much longer than regular pens so they may not fit into your pencil case unless you're carrying one which is not of ordinary sizes. 

These pens require lots of control and they're more suitable for big lettering such as cards or a quote on a full A4 paper. It took me a while to get the hang of it but thanks to it, I had no issues lettering with other types of pens. Also, some of the colors can be rather light and I usually use those colors as a background color and when it's dry, I'll hand letter over them just to give it a style. 

Link: https://www.stickerrificstore.com/products/tombow-abt-dual-brush-pen

4. Koi Brush Pens & Liners


The Koi brush pens are pretty similar to the Tombow Dual Brush Pens. However they are of normal pen sizes and more compact to carry around. As for the other two 'liners' (?), I would usually use them to doodle or even handletter when I feel like spicing things up a little. 

Link (Koi): https://www.stickerrificstore.com/products/sakura-koi-coloring-brush
Link (Micron): https://www.stickerrificstore.com/products/copy-of-sakura-gelly-roll-metallic

If you do not wish to spend too much money on brush pens, you can simply use Crayola markers as their tip is triangle and it's perfect to create the thin and thick strokes. Or simply use regular ball point pens and practice faux calligraphy (as shown and explain in video 1). 

Pens aside, did you know that the paper you use for calligraphy is as important too? Regular / non smooth paper can easily fray your brush pens and also be the cause that your strokes 'disperses' or look un-neat. There are a few brands / type of papers that you can use, and my personal favorite would be the Rhodia Pads.


The paper is really smooth and is great for calligraphy / brush pens as they do not fray your brush pens easily. They're available in A4 and A5, in blank, dotted line as well as grids. 

Link (Blank A4) : https://www.stickerrificstore.com/products/rhodia-a4-stapled-pad-classic-blank-pad
Link (Blank A5) : https://www.stickerrificstore.com/products/rhodia-a5-stapled-pad-blank
Link (Dotted A4) : https://www.stickerrificstore.com/products/rhodia-a4-spiral-pad-classic-dot
Link (Dotted A5) : https://www.stickerrificstore.com/products/rhodia-a5-spiral-pad-classic-dot-pads
Link (Grid A4) : https://www.stickerrificstore.com/products/rhodia-a4-spiral-pad-classic-graph-pads
Link (Grid A5) : https://www.stickerrificstore.com/products/rhodia-a5-spiral-pad-classic-graph-pads

An alternative would be the HP Premium Choice Laserjet Paper (32lb). They should be more accessible to obtain as you can purchase them from any bookstore. They're great for printing worksheets and you can practice on them without the worry for damaging your brush pens. 



TIPS WHEN PRACTICING CALLIGRAPHY


  1. Light / thin upstrokes, heavy / thick downstrokes.
  2. Find a comfortable position to hold your pen and practice your lettering with the same position.
  3. To practice on strokes and individual alphabets first, before / rather than diving straight into writing a whole word / sentence. 
  4. Lift your pen after every stroke and letter. They appear to stick to each other from exit / upward stroke, and not from 'one touch / one line'. 
  5. Do not rush when you're lettering! Calligraphy takes time and patience. They only appear fast in videos because they're edited / sped up.
  6. When you're practicing on worksheets, do not simply just trace them. Recognize the pressure and pattern, and try it on your own without tracing. 
  7. Practice makes perfect!


MY CREATIONS











For calligraphy services / enquiry, you may e-mail me at:
melissakttan95@gmail.com

Do follow me on Instagram for more calligraphy works:
www.instagram.com/melissatan95

Sincerely, Mels.
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Melissa Tan | Lifestyle Blogger
Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

Work with me - melissakttan95@gmail.com

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