by - April 11, 2017

11 weeks left of being a university student

It is that phase of life again where I worry very much about the unknown and uncertainty of the future. I feel rather insecure about where my life is heading to after this, and the fact that I have not exactly found my field of interest even up to this point scares me a lot. I know there are a lot of articles and books to help discover myself, or even self evaluation tests that I can easily find online. But at the same time, part of me is still clinging on the hope that I can one day generate enough income and eventually have it as my full time career with things that I am passionate about.

At the same time, I am excited for the plans lined up this August and September. As excited as I am about it, it makes me feel agitated about it when plans can't be finalized. The word 'hope' comes into the picture again for this because as urgent as it is to get things confirmed, I can't help but to hang on to that slim chance of hope that things could become better and easier. 

I have also recently took up a work from home part time job which pays me pretty decent for an undergraduate. Don't get me wrong, my parents still provide for me more than they should, but I am at the stage of life whereby I want to earn for myself be it for extra expenditure or to put into savings. However, I may have taken up this part time job at a wrong timing, because I seriously had no idea that the final semester would be THIS hectic. I mean, I knew I was going to be busy but it was just not as what I've expected. Opportunity doesn't come knocking twice, and I can say that it fits in rather well with how this job opportunity came to me. I just really hope that I will be able to juggle everything well, to keep in focus on my priorities and not let my past 5 semesters' effort to go to waste. 

I am someone who gets her thoughts cluttered very easily when things can actually be done efficiently ONLY IF I am discipline enough to do so. This always lead myself to unnecessary stress, and lowers my confidence in excelling in things that I do. Unfortunately, this is pretty much what I am going through now. I keep telling myself that I have too many things to do, and I am stressed out, and that I am running out of time, and yet, here I am in this space. 

It's now only week 3 of my final semester, and as I am typing this, I fell sick in class today. I woke up today with a very bad sore throat, which later became a really bad flu. As of date, I have a lot of work and assignments waiting to be completed but I don't know what it is that I am constantly tired and in need of long naps, which slows down my progress with getting things crossed out on my to-do list. This is like the worst time to fall sick, but I hope after this, I'll be healthy enough to brace through the remaining 11 weeks of the semester.

Fingers crossed that the weeks will only get better. After all, this is my last shot to excel, and the last few weeks to enjoy my life, with my friends, as a student.

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